Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure
by MariYoshBowsFan
Summary: Super Mario's life, as you would never have seen/read it before! Join him as he roams the globe. doing stupid things with stupid people. What happens? I don't Know! I haven't finished typing the summary yet, but until then, read this story and find out!
1. The Introduction, I Know It Sucks

_**Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure**_

Chapter 1: _The Introduction, I Know it Sucks…_

**Format: _TAS*_**

"_What a nice picnic!" Peach said in the park, obviously having a nice time._

"_Yeah sure. Whatever." Mario replied, filled with boredom._

"_Be happy! This is our 2 year anniversary!" Peach said, getting annoyed._

"_Why? We are just another year closer to getting divorced…" Mario sighed._

"_How dare you say that! Peach exclaimed. "You know really well that we will be together forever, whether you like it or not!"_

_Mario sighed as he started drawing a heart with a stick and writing M + P in it. It's not who you think. Peach did not notice this and continued to yell at him while he ignored her._

"…_and really? Who do you think you are to disrespect your wife, __and__ the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom? You should be ashamed of yourself. The next time Bowser captures me, don't come rescue me. I am better off there._

"_Ok, Peach. Bowser is a piece of crap. He's no good for you and…"_

"_Well neither are you!" yelled Peach._

_Mario ignores Peach. Peach finally notices his drawings._

"_You still love me?" Peach asked, concerned._

_Just when you least expect it, Bowser appeared out of nowhere._

"_Bwahaha!" exclaimed Bowser. "Mario never loved you. He just saves you so you will kiss him because he can't get a girl any other way!"_

_Mario blushed, embarrassed, but furious with Bowser. Bowser laughed to himself, then proceeded to take the princess, no surprise there…_

"_Oh, one last thing…I heard your comment, calling me a piece of crap! Who are you to judge, you big nosed, fat, low-life chump!"_

***-I realize I formatted this story a little differently than I did the first story. I thought this way made the story more realistic. I will bounce back and forth between the, "Script (SCR)" and the, "Telling a Story (TAS)".**


	2. What Just Happened?

Chapter 2: _What Just Happened?_

(**Of course I am not actually in the story, I am just the narrator.)**

_Where was I? Oh yes, Mario just sat there and watched helplessly as Bowser took his wife._

_ "Sigh…not this again" he thought to himself. "Every time I try to live a normal life, somebody I don't like comes and ruins it. Why is everyone such a jerk?" Mario muttered._

_Surprisingly, a Toad happened to walk by and noticed Mario. The Toad rushed to find out what happened. When the Toad got there, he asked what was wrong, but Mario didn't hear or see him._

_ "What's wrong?" Toad asked._

_ "Why do you even care? You don't even do anything in the video games but give moral support and trust me, I just want to punch you in the face, but I can't! I always have to walk right in front of you and that gets really annoying. You just don't stop talking and why are you so irritating? I would rather have Bowser beat me up then have you come with me on another one of these almost impossible journeys!" screamed Mario._

_Everybody in the park turned their head from whatever they were doing. Nobody wanted to miss the end of this! Mario never yells at anybody, until now… The whole park was silent and _eerie**(*)**._ Nobody moved or said anything in fear of Mario snapping again. All Mario did was turn and walk away towards Sarasaland._

_ "What just happened?" said Toad, obviously confused._

**eerie- spooky, creepy, weird**


	3. Where Am I?

Chapter 3: _Where am I?_

_**Sorry! Forgot the (*)!**_

_**eerie- affected with fright  
**__**Where did I leave off? Oh yes, Mario just embarrassed Toad in public!  
**__Mario sighed, as he was alone with nobody to bark at. Mario sat on the picnic blanket and started to cry. Everyone was staring._

"_Why is Mario crying?" they all thought. "I'm not going to say anything, for he might yell at me like Toad."_

_What a coincidence! Luigi and Daisy were at the park and noticed someone crying. They nodded, which meant to see who it was and how they could help._

"_Excuse me, why are you crying?" Luigi asked sympathetically._

_"Don't say it like that!" Daisy scolded. "You have to be subtle and gentle with sad people. Watch."_

_Luigi obeyed, not saying a word as he observed Daisy's technique._

_"Um, hi. Why are you crying?" Daisy asked._

_"That's what I said!" Luigi yelled._

_"Well I said it better." Daisy argued._

_"I wore it better." Luigi said._

_"What?" Daisy said, confused._

_"I don't know." Luigi confessed._

_As Luigi and Daisy were arguing over something stupid, Mario got up and walked away, leaving the basket and blanket._

_It was Halloween time in the Mushroom Kingdom so everyone irrelevant to the story was dressed up for the holiday. A Toad wearing a realistic Mario costume walked over and sat on the real Mario's blanket. Luigi and Daisy did not notice._

_Luigi turned to the Toad,"Stop crying you piece of crap!"_

_The whole entire park went silent again. It was just like when Mario snapped at Toad. Nobody moved. It was dead silent. Nobody expected this out of Luigi, Mario's younger brother._

"_Why do you hate me?" the Toad exclaimed._

_"Oh my god, I am so sorry. I thought you were crying."_

_"No, I just got here."_

_Daisy turned to Luigi, "You are such an idiot."  
__Meanwhile, Mario with tears in his eyes, walked to Peach's Castle._

"_Where could Bowser have taken Peach? Wait, I don't care. She was such a jerk." Mario thought to himself._

_Just as Mario knelt down to sob, a shadow came over him._

"_Bwahaha!" shouted a familiar voice that Mario could not interpret._

_Bowser and his son, Bowser Jr., had ganged up on Mario, beating him to losing his consciousness. When Mario woke up, he was in a burlap sack, being carried or transferred somewhere._

"_Son, can you lift him? He is really fat and throwing out my back." Bowser grunted._

_Mario felt a bit of shaking, then a sigh of relief. Mario yawned, for he was tired again. He slowly drifted back into slumber._

_When he woke up again, his arms and legs were tied behind his back, and he was in some sort of small, carpeted room. Unable to stand straight. he felt a few hangers on the floor._

"_I must be in some sort of closet." He thought. "Where am I?"_

**Thank you for reading this chapter of, "Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure"!**

**R.A.R.A.S.**

**Rate And Review And Stuff**

Review Poll: _Should I add on to R.A.R.A.S.?_

For Example: R.R.P.M.A.S.

Rate, Review, Personal Message, And Stuff.


	4. A Room With A View

**Note: All Dialogue Will Be In Bold**

**-MYBF**

* * *

Chapter 4: _A Room With A View_

_Realizing he can't move, Mario decided to put his ear up to the door. There was one problem with this, he couldn't find the door! Mario searched as hard as he could, but no luck. He had no idea how he got in there, or how to get out. He sat there, breathing heavily, in the middle of darkness, confused as ever._

"**_How do I got out of here? I can't see anything!" _**_Mario thought. _

_As he started to give up, he felt something cold and metal. It was the doorknob! He didn't know if anyone was on the other side or where it went._

"**_If someone is on the other side, they'll hear me for sure!" _**_Mario muttered. _**_"If I don't open it, then I'll never leave and I'll never know where this leads to..."_**

_Mario gave it a lot of thought and reasoning, but he decided to take the chance, but at __his__ pace. He opened the door slowly, just enough that he could see out the door without __being__ seen. The door lead to a hallway where Bowser and Bowser Jr. were talking. _

"_**Can you tell me the plan, Dad?"**_

**_"No, that would be totally unrealistic to everyday kidnappings. No evil villain would say their plan out loud while their nemesis is tied up in the closet a few feet away!" _**_argued Bowser._

"_**Every villain does in cartoons."**_

_**"Those are cartoons, this is real life. It's just common sense that the nemesis would hear the plan and foil it."**_

_Mario shut the door fast and quietly. _**_"That was close! They might have looked and saw me! I'd better be more careful." _**_Mario thought. _**_"Maybe one of them might slip up and reveal the plan."_**

_Mario reopened the door, a little less than its original spot. He kept his eyes peeled to Bowser, and emptied his mind of all thoughts, not like he was thinking much at all._

**_"...please? Tell me the plan! I'm the only one who doesn't know!" _**_complained Bowser Jr. _**_"If you do, I could help! Then Mario will be trapped forever!"_**

_Bowser gave this suggestion a lot of thought. He nodded in agreement, but it was obvious he didn't like the idea._

_**"Oh thank you, Dad! I love you! Now tell me!" **__pleaded Bowser Jr. Mario listened intently, as in his life was on the line, but it was!_

_**"All right, settle down!" **__Bowser scolded. __**"The plan is that when Hammer Bro gives the signal, I will lock the closet door, then Goomba over there will roll on the door, putting Bowser's Castle brand duct tape on the door, trapping Mario in there forever! Bwahahahaha!"**_

_Mario adjusted how he was sitting, out of fear.__Bowser Jr. stood there, puzzled and silent. __**"This is the worst plan I've ever heard. I bet a Toad could have come up with a better plan!" **__he screamed._

**_"How dare you! You asked to know the plan and you got what you wanted. Don't ask for more than there actually is. I realize it is a pretty crappy plan, but do you have any other bright ideas? No! So stop complaining and help!" _**_argued Bowser._

_By this time, Mario had already untied himself, found a pair of scissors on the ground that he almost stepped on, and realized the closet is not very tall, (the hard way)_**_(*)_**_ He was about to stand up, when...WHAM! Mario hit his head on unknown shelves. He heard the sound of something hit the ground._

"**_OW!" _**_shrieked Mario. The conversation outside stopped._

**_"Mario! He's escaping!" _**_accused Bowser._

**_"Actually, I was eavesdropping." _**_explained Mario._

**_"You what?" _**_shouted Bowser in disbelief. _**_"Son, you can take him. I'll warn the others."_**

_While Bowser left to warn his henchmen of Mario allegedly escape, Bowser Jr. was forced to fight Mario, who was still in the closet._

* * *

**Battle****Stats**

**Mario: 77/**100 HP (Shock, hitting his head, and still in the closet)

0/5 SP (No Fire Flowers in a closet)

**Bowser Jr.: **38.5/50 (Just to make it fair)

0/5 (He doesn't have any cool moves)

* * *

**The****Fight**

"_**Wait, I don't want to fight you!" **Bowser Jr. said._

_**"How you're not lying to me?"**_

_**"I don't. I swear! I promise! I'll do anything."**_

_Mario didn't believe the plead, and decided to be mean. Mario stuck out his hand in the form of a truce. When Bowser Jr. reached out to shake hands, Mario slipped away and punched him right in the nose._

* * *

**Battle****Update**

**Mario:** 80/100 HP (Gaining momentum)

0/5 SP (Never going to change)

**Bowser Jr.: **20/50 (Hard punch, broken nose)

-1/5 (Doesn't make sense, but I don't care)

* * *

**The****Fight**

"_**I really thought you were going to accept that I don't want to fight you. I was actually going to join you to rescue the Princess. I think Dad is over his head on this one...Please! Let me join you!"**_

_**"I don't know if I should believe you or not. You might betray me and steal the Princess right when we find her. Allow this to be my answer..."**_

_Mario kicked Bowser Jr. in the ribs then lifted him and threw him in the closet and slammed the door. Bowser Jr. was yelling and banging on the door. Mario stole Bowser's plan and added a twist to it. He locked and duct taped the door, but Mario wasn't in the closet. There was one flaw in his plan, Mario had forgotten about the object that fell when he hit his head in the closet. (I forgot too!)_

* * *

**Battle****F****inale**

**Mario: **90/100 (Forgot he was in pain)

0/5 (See earlier)

**Bowser Jr.: **0/50 (Knock-out)

0/5 (See earlier here, too)

* * *

_Mario followed where Bowser ran earlier to find Peach. Meanwhile, Bowser Jr. was still looking for someone to find him. He started to search for something that would help him escape. He felt something cold and metal. It was a key?_

"_**A key to what?" **Bowser Jr. thought to himself._

"_**A key to the door? Let's find out!" **he said as he unlocked the door. He was unaware that there was duct tape on the door!_

"_**Is there something on the shelf?" **he thought. Bowser Jr. searched the shelves with ease and found a piece of paper, a broken pencil, and a pair of socks._

"_**Nope, nothing helpful here...ouch!" **he wailed as he felt something sharp. That was the scissors Mario almost stepped on earlier._

"_**Perfect!" **Bowser Jr. cut through the duct tape and was free. He took the roll for safe keeping._

* * *

_During all of this chaos, Princess Peach was standing on a high balcony/patio up on a tower._

"_**Don't save me, Mario. Not this time! I want to stay here with Bowser." **Peach thought to herself. **"I like it here. I have a room with a view."**_

* * *

**Asterisks (*'s)**

**(*)- Mario hit his head on the top of the closet.**

* * *

_The End...for now! :)_

_Keep reading!_

_R.A.R.A.S._

_Rate And Review And Stuff!_

_-MYBF_


	5. No

**A/N I Realize This Is A Short Chapter, Just Bear With Me...**

* * *

**Setting: Bowser's Castle Balcony**

_**Chapter 5: No**_

_It was a sunny day, but clouds flew by. Slowly but surely, they made their voyage across the unexplored region called, "Sky". There was a cool breeze, and it was very relaxing. The leaves rustled, the sand flew, and everything was peaceful. Well..._

_Princess Toadstool was leaning on the handrail, looking across all the land._

"_**Sigh. This is boring. Being kidnapped sucks…I would know."**_

_She sighed again, not knowing what to do, if anything was possible. Just then, Bowser came up the stairs, breathing heavily, sweat running down his horns and armpits._

"_**Prin…Princess, don't go anywhere." **he said._

_ **"You cannot order me! I am the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!"**_

_** "Yeah, whatever." **Bowser rolled his eyes. **"Listen, I have something to tell you."**_

_** "I don't care." **Peach sassed._

_ **"I'd bet you do…I'm getting distracted…Mario's here! He's invaded the castle!"**_

_** "Why is he here to rescue me? Gross!"**_

_** "So you divorced?" **Bowser asked, puzzled by her reaction._

_ **"No. He was acting strange, then we argued over…I don't even remember what! Anyway, out of nowhere, you came and took me like the fat gorilla you are!"**_

_** "Well that answered my question." **Bowser muttered to himself. **"Do not compare me to the gorilla*!" he screamed.**_

_The two stood there in silence, not knowing of what to say. Peach turned from Bowser to the sky again. As if she was looking for something. _

_The wind was steadily flying by at an increasing rate. The noises of everyday life could be heard down below**, a life Peach and Bowser will never live, but the do***._

_Bowser broke the silence._

"_**I have something to ask you."**_

_** "I don't have anything better to do, so I'll humor you: What is it?" **Peach asked, sarcasm in her voice._

_ **"I love you."**_

_** "That's not a question." **Peach interrupted._

_ **"I know. I was getting to that."**_

_** "Neither of those were questions."**_

_** "Will you stop?" **Bowser asked demandingly._

_ **"That was a question." **Peach stated._

_Bowser sighed._

"_**Do you even know what a question is?" **Peach asked._

_** "Of course I know what a question is!"**_

_** "All right then."**_

_The silence rose again, only more awkward and concerning. Peach was the one to break it, and quite swiftly._

"_**Now, what did you want to ask me?"**_

_** "I love you."**_

_** "You already said that."**_

_** "I know!" **Bowser grunted._

_ **"Don't you use that tone of voice with me!"**_

_Bowser ignored her. **"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."**_

_Peach was speechless. Bowser knelt down, with a small box in his hand. He opened it to reveal a diamond engagement ring._

"_**Will you marry me? Ditch the fat plumber."**_

_Peach thought it over for a while._

"_**Well? What's you answer? Tell me!" **Bowser ordered._

_** "I…I can't."**_

_** "Why not?"**_

_** "I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."**_

_** "Whu…what? You are already in this kind of commitment!"**_

_** "Exactly!"**_

_** "You will marry me, Princess Peach! Do you know how much it took to get this! This cost $200,000!"**_

_** "My earrings are more expensive then that."  
"That's not the point. The point is that I spent money on a ring you don't even want!"**_

_** "Yeah, what's your point?"**_

* * *

_By this time, Mario's lost, Bowser's about to explode with rage, and Peach could care less._

* * *

_Bowser was so mad at Peach, he couldn't put it into words._

_**"Marry me!"**_

_**"No!"**_

_**"Marry me!"**_

_**"No!"**_

_**"Yes! You will do as I say!"**_

_**"No, I won't. You are not the boss of me. All you are is a bully...and a convict."**_

_**"How dare you!" **Bowser said, disgusted with Peach's behavior.**  
**_

_**"I could care less."**_

_**"Wait...you don't care at all?"**_

_**"No."  
**_

* * *

**Asterisks (*)**

***- Donkey Kong**

****- Car horns honking, people walking by, etc.**

*****- Everyone has an everyday routine and do things everyone does, even celebrities.**

* * *

Sorry for such a short chapter.

Anyway_…_

_R.A.R.A.S._

_RateAndReviewAndStuff_

_-MYBF_


	6. Wait, Hold The Phone!

**Mario's ****Weird and Confusing Adventure**

_Chapter 6: Wait, Hold the Phone!_

Anger rose in the air, making its presence. The fury was obviously through the roof. Tensions grew bigger as time went on. Sparks flew farther than what was thought of to be possible. Sparks flew farther then what was actually possible.

Peach was obviously agitated at Bowser. Bowser was obviously agitated at Peach. Neither of them spoke to one another for quite a while. They looked away, their backs turned to each other. The silence was unsettling.

_"Why won't she marry me?"_ Bowser thought. _"I'm way stronger than the plumber. I could throw him so far, he will instantly goes unconscious with one claw."_

_"He's so fat. When he moves his head, I fear his horns will poke me in the eye."_ Peach daydreamed. _"Why does he keep capturing me? I'm married, oh I get it now. He can't get a girl on his own! He has to steal one!"_

Peach giggled, a little too loud then she expected. Bowser turned to Peach with a confused, yet frightened look on his face. The outburst had startled him. His ears has grown accustom to the quietness.

_"You scared me!"_

Peach remained silent.

_"What's so funny?"_

After Bowser said that, the imagination of Peach Toadstool went back to work, imagining what was imagined earlier.

Peach giggled again.

_ "What is so funny?"_

She did not reply again, only increasing Bowser's fury*. Bowser has the temper of a bomb with a miniscule fuse. He is always ready to explode upon impact. The fuse that is always cut short has a huge explosion, if you will.

_"I want to know what you are giggling about. Since you are being stubborn and..."_

Peach spoke up for the first time. Bowser did not expect her to talk. She had not uttered a word until now.

_"Oh __I'm__ stubborn? Well, at least I don't break through the floor!"_Peach rudely interrupted.

_"Real clever. It wouldn't be the first time I've heard that one."_

_ "Oh, now I feel bad..."_

_ "You should."_

There was another awkward silence as the conversation was dropped. Peach had started to wish for Mario to arrive. Unfortunately, he was still finding his way to the balcony. He gets lost often.

Bowser was stomping on Peach's last nerve. He had been exceptionally irritating since his last encounter with Mario. He had brought his younger brother. The numbers game proved to be too much for Bowser. The Mario Bros. Had hammers and stomped on him, putting him in the hospital for 6 months. He was bruised, had a broken nose, was in an arm cast, and had a leg brace. **

After a silence that seemed endless, sounds were heard from the back stairwell. Actually, it wouldn't be the back stairwell because there is only one that leads to the balcony.

_"What is that horrible noise?"_ asked Bowser.

_"Don't ask me. I'm right here. I wouldn't know."_Peach snapped.

Bowser was wise, (for once) and chose not to answer. He knew it would only get worse from there.

Just then, Mario came up the stairs, breathing heavily, sweat running down his forehead and armpits.***

_"Prin...Princess, don't go anywhere..."_ he said.

_"You cannot order me! I am the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!"_

_"Yeah, whatever."_Mario rolled his eyes.

_ "I said the exact same thing around 20 minutes ago!"_

_"I said it better!"_

_"Well, I WORE it better!"_** **** **Bowser countered.

_"That doesn't make any sense. You don't wear any clothes."_

_"Aww crap, he's right..."_Bowser thought as he peered down, feeling a bit humbled.

There was yet another awkward silence. Peach was wise and decided not to interrupt or get involved. She had backed away and let the other two argue. Throughout the silence, Mario and Bowser glared at each other, speaking without words, but with body language and facial expressions.

Both of them never lost the focus on his nemesis. Both of them wanted a fight, but they were also too stubborn to admit it.

Just then, Luigi came up the stairs, breathing heavily, sweat running down his hair and armpits.***

_"Prin...Princess, don't go anywhere..."_he said.

_"You cannot order me! I am the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!"_

_"Yeah, whatever."_Luigi rolled his eyes.

"_Again? That's three times! What is this, a broken record?"_

_ "Weegee, what are you doing here?" _Mario demanded to know.

_"I was getting to that."_

_ "Well hurry it up!" _Bowser snapped. _"We're about to fight over the princess, again..."_

_ "That's precisely why I'm here. I'm here to aid Mario."_

_ "Aww crap. I dropped my hammer on the stairs."_

_ "I've got it." _Luigi announced with confidence.

_"Now that your 'Welcome Fest' is over, let's get back to the fight! I can take you two with one claw."_

Just then, another noise was heard from the stairwell.

_"Oh great, who could it be __this__ time?" _Bowser asked rhetorically. They were all perplexed. As the suspicion and anxiety rose, the mystery person climbed up the pink staircase that leads to the pink balcony.

That mystery person was...wait, not person. I meant dinosaur!

It's everyone's favorite, and the cutest hero, Yoshi, making his 1st appearance. Only Yoshi was not sweating or breathing heavily, unlike all the others that entered the balcony.

"_Yoshi Yoshi!"_ he said in his native language,

_"Does anyone speak..." _Bowser started.

_"Yoshi." _Luigi interrupted.

_"Thank you, Green 'Stache."_

_"I speak a little bit." _the red-clad plumber answered. _"He said, 'Princess, don't go anywhere'!"_

_ "You cannot order me! I am the...forget it." Peach finally spoke up._

_ "Four times?"_

At this point, Mario had himself, Luigi, and Yoshi against Bowser.

_"Wait, it's three on one! I can't do that!"_

Once again, someone came up the stairs, only there were two.

_"My minions have arrived!"_

_ "How do you know they're __your__ minions?" _Mario argued.

_"You don't have any!" _Bowser pointed out.

Mario went silent again, for he could not top Bowser's comeback. He sighed and awaited the arrival of Bowser's minions. At long last, Hammer Bro came up the stairs carrying Bowser's son rolled up in duct tape.

_"Finally! Allies!"_

_ "Don't even say it," _Peach unexpectedly snapped. _"I know you don't want me to leave. Everyone wants to tell me the same things. I've heard it 4 different times..."_

Nobody twitched a muscle in shock. Boom! Thunder could be heard. (Ha, shock.) Dark clouds formed.

_"Yoshi Yoshi?*****" _Yoshi gasped in fear.

_"It's just a storm, get over it!" _Mario barked.

Then the storm started as a gentle downpour. Unfortunately, November 1st is Town Repaint Day. All the paint on the walls, floors, and ceilings started to run faster than an Olympic relay racer. Everyone was wet, not soaked, but pretty wet. Peach had an umbrella, though. The precipitation seeped through everyone else's garments.

_"Let's get back to the fight before we get electrocuted. It won't take long." _Bowser grumbled.

_"Yoshi Yoshi..." _Yoshi mumbled as rain dripped from his nose.

Mario sighed and translated, _"That was very mean."_

_ "Whatever."_

The rain slowly stalled to a halt. The clouds stayed, but the precipitation ended.

_"Yoshi..." _Yoshi stated.

_"Well of course you're confused. You're as smart as a brick." _Bowser growled, annoyed at all the distractions.

_"Ugh. I'm tired of waiting. Just fight already! It's starting to get irritating!" _Peach pitched in the conversation.

Luigi spoke up. _"Hold on, I have to tie my shoe."_

_ "Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi!"_

_"Yoshi's right. You don't have shoelaces." _Mario translated.

_"And you're wearing loafers anyway." _Peach said.

_"Come on! Just fight us already!" _Hammer Bro yelled.

_"Yeah. I'm anxious to deliver a beating!" _Bowser Jr. said confidently.

_"Son, what did I tell you? 'Do not associate with your nemesis'."_

_ "Yeah. Your nemesis and __father__ are usually jerks." _Mario laughed.

_"Who are you calling a jerk, you low-life bottom feeder?"_

_ "Don't talk to my husband that way! Who do you think you are?"_

_ "Your supreme overlord."_ Bowser replied confidently.

Mario finally had enough of this nonsense and punched Bowser right in the chin, almost breaking his jaw. Everything else was none other than chaos.

**The ****Fight**

Luigi and Bowser Jr. were exchanging punches. Yoshi and Hammer Bro were kicking. Mario and Bowser were using a combination of everything. Bowser pinned Mario on the ground and started slugging him with everything he had.

_"Wait, hold the phone!"_

**Asteriks**

*- _He honestly hated her at this moment._

**- _Based on Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story_

***- _ Seen that before? Something close?_

****- _I think that's on (or was) a TV show..._

_*****- "What's going on?"_


	7. It Can't Be!

**Author's Note: _Sorry for the delay. This chapter took FOREVER to write because it's so long. I really need to shorten the chapters. Anyway, I am not responsible for any injuries prior to reading this. Enjoy..._**

* * *

**Mario's ****Weird and Confusing Adventure**

Chapter 7: _It can't be!_

_ "What could possibly be wrong this time?" _Bowser growled.

_ "Well, violence is no way to solve a problem." _Luigi stated.

_ "I'm in the mood to punch someone in the face, right now!" _argued Bowser Junior.

Yoshi and Peach just sat back and watched. They knew they would have to step in eventually, just not now. The two had to wait for the right moment.

_"Calm down, son."_

Mario pitched in. _"How do you propose we solve this?"_

_ "Violence!" _Bowser's son suggested, again.

_"Checkers?"_

_ "Weegee, that's a horrid idea."_

_ "Fine, chess."_

_ "Weegee, that was an even __more__ atrocious solution."_

_ "I don't see you helping the cause!"_

Yoshi finally had enough. _"Yoshi yoshi!" _**(*)**

_ "What did he say?" asked Hammer Bro._

_ "I'm tired of translating." _Mario sighed.

_"Don't be such a baby." _Luigi spoke up again.

_"You're calling __me__ a baby?"_

The Mario Brothers argued for quite some time. Everyone was thinking of a way to solve this predicament. As the argument seemed to never end, Peach hatched an idea.

_"I've got an idea."_

_ "Well? Don't keep us waiting!" _Mario's adversary demanded.

_"All right, all right. Calm down. Each person submits an idea, then we take a poll."_

_ "That's a terrib-"_

_ "Shut up, Mario!" _Peach snapped.

Everyone agreed, except Bowser, his son, Hammer Bro, and Mario. So basically, "everyone" is only Yoshi and Luigi.

_"You two agree with it, right?"_

_ "Yeah!"_ Yoshi and Luigi shouted with excitement.

_"Really?"_

_ "No...not really."_

_ "You lied?"_

_ "It was a stupid idea." _ Luigi stated.

_"Then why did you lie?_

_ "We wanted to make you feel better."_

Bowser had enough with the distractions. _"THAT'S IT!"_

_"Bowser's right. How are we going to settle this?"_

_ "Violence!" _Bowser Jr. insisted.

_"Ugh, no violence!" _debated Peach.

_"Aww."_

_ "Checkers?" Luigi suggested again._

_ "That's stupid." _argued Mario.

_"Shoot."_

_ "Wrestling?" _Bowser wanted to hurt somebody.

_"That goes along with violence." _Peach negated Bowser's solution.

_"I don't care!"_

_ "Yoshi yoshi!"_

_ "I'm sorry, Yoshi. Talking has gotten us nowhere."_

_ "Yoshi..."_

_ "Kicking!" _Hammer Bro shouted.

_"What do you guys not understand about 'No Violence'?"_

_ "That rule is stupid."_

Peach finally realized that this was getting nowhere.

_"Since this is getting nowhere, I'll come up with an idea."_

Everyone rejected this, for Peach's other ideas were truly awful.

_"Who hasn't suggested an idea?"_

They each went through the list of each person and their idea.

**Peach- Poll (Cannot suggest anything else)**

**Luigi- Checkers**

**Bowser Jr.- Violence**

**Yoshi- Talking it out**

**Hammer Bro- Kicking**

**Bowser- Wrestling**

That was only six, they were missing someone. After a minute, everyone realized. Mario!

_ "Mario!" _Peach called to him.

He was staring off the balcony, ignoring the group.

_"Mario, we need ideas to settle this fight in 2 chapters or less."_

_ "Did you just break the 4th wall?"_

_ "Yes, yes I did."_

_ "Violence! Say violence!" _Bowser Jr. persisted.

"That's my boy!"

_"Let's see...how about arm wrestling?"_

_ "Yeah!"_ shouted Bowser, his son, and Hammer Bro.

_"No!"_ vetoed Luigi and Peach.

_"Yoshi..." _muttered Yoshi.

Mario pitched the idea, so he said yes as well.

_"4 people say yes while 3 people say no." _Luigi tallied.

_"Now we decide who's against who." _Hammer Bro stated.

Mario had an idea. _"Since I chose the idea, you three choose the first pairing."_

After a few minutes of deciding by themselves, they discussed it with each other. The group had come to an agreement.

_"Ready to lose?" _taunted Mario.

_"Yes..." _Luigi admitted.

Bowser ignored his torment. _"My son is fighting Luigi."_

_ "Oh no..." _thought Luigi.

Mario walked over to his brother and started to massage his shoulders, relaxing the muscles.

_"Go for the gold. Fight fire with fun...or fire."_

_ "How will that help?"_

_ "Do you want motivation or not?"_

_ "Not really..."_

Mario stood up and walked away, leaving Luigi to face Bowser Jr. by himself. He was sweating and shaking.

Luigi's older brother returned a minute later, wearing a referee's shirt.

_"Where did you get that?" _Peach asked.

_"I stole it."_

_ "You __**WHAT**__?"_

_ "I sto-"  
"I heard you!"_

Mario ignored Peach. He proceeded to set up a table and chairs between the two competitors.

_"You two ready?" _he asked.

_"No..."_

_ "__**BRING IT ON!**__"_

The competitors locked arms, Luigi being forced to.

_"Eww. His arm is sweaty!"_

_ "WHATEVER!" _Mario yelled. He blew his whistle, which he also stole. The match had officially begun.

**-Note-**

_**What are about to read is the biggest fail in the history of gravy, shoelaces, and another random item. This takes place in a measly 4 seconds. Thank you for ****your time...**_

**-End Note-**

The second Mario blew on the stolen whistle, Bowser Jr. slammed Luigi's arm on the table. Luigi, not being "strong" couldn't resist. Adding insult to injury, (emphasis on the injury) the force broke right through the table.

"_**YOW! OWWIE-OW!**"_

Everyone else was speechless. Mario attempted to speak. _"...I think we all know who won."_

_ "YOU THINK?"_ Luigi snapped. _"He broke my wrist!"_

_ "That's why you should work out more."_

Luigi attempted to strangle Mario, but Yoshi held him back.

_"Are the other 2 matches on the floor?" _asked Bowser.

_"Luigi broke the only table!" _Mario glared at him.

Luigi gestured punching Mario. He didn't flinch, react, or even blink.

_"Now then. Who's next so we can get this over with?" _Peach asked. Mario turned to Yoshi.

_"Do you want to now?" _Yoshi shook his head. Mario ignored him.

_"OK! You're next!" _Yoshi sighed. _"The good part is that you get to choose who you're up against."_

Bowser stepped in. _"No choosing someone that was previously in a match!"_ Yoshi had made up his mind already.

_"Yoshi yoshi!" _He pointed to Hammer Bro.

_"You're on!" _He thought to himself, _"This should be easy,"_.

Yoshi and Hammer Bro locked arms on the floor. Mario knew they were ready. They were MORE than ready. He blew on the stolen whistle. The match was officially begun.

At first, it swayed back and forth. Yoshi started to gain an adventage, but then Hammer Bro countered and started to win. Yoshi became nervous and started to sweat.

_"I see you sweating!" _Hammer Bro taunted. _"You can't beat me!"_

Yoshi became enraged. He steadily pushed Hammer Bro's arm towards the floor. He noticed that and started to resist, but it was too late. Yoshi has already won.

_ "Wh-what?" _Hammer Bro was in disbelief. _"THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"_

_ "Well, it happened, so deal with it."_

Mario's remark drove Hammer Bro off the deep end. _"YOU SHUT UP, FATTIE! LAY OFF THE PASTA! YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME KIND OF SUPERSTAR, BUT YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE JUST AN EGOTISTICAL JERK!"_

_ "Yoshi yoshi yoshi!" _defended Yoshi. Hammer Bro attacked him instead.

_"...what about the last match?" _asked yawned.

_"My dad has to face...him."_ Bowser Jr. hesitated to say his name.

_"Wait. If I'm in it, then who's the referee?" _Everyone looked at the others. Hammer Bro was attacking Yoshi. Peach didn't care. Bowser and Mario were competing. Luigi was in pain, and Bowser Jr. wasn't doing much of anything.

_"Come on, son. Let Dad win."_

_ "Shut up, Bowser. That's not fair."_

_ "Who said Life was fair?"_

Bowser Jr. had returned, wearing Mario's referee shirt. Mario looked down to see himself in his usual attire. Wait, when did Bowser Jr. leave?

_ "How did he do that?" _is all Mario thought.

He cleared it from his mind. He was supposed to be concentrating on the task at hand: beating Bowser at arm wresting.

They locked arms and stared at each other with an icy glare. Bowser Jr. almost blew on Mario's stolen whistle, but then he realized that Mario had blown on it...twice!

_"Eww. I'm going to just shout 'Go!' instead." _he decided.

Neither of the competitors moved, nodded, or even blinked! They understood, but they couldn't lose focus and give the other an advantage. Bowser Junior chose to torture them by waiting ten minutes until finally shouting, "Go!".

At first, it was anyone's guess who would win. But then the unthinkable happened. Nobody expected this to happen, but it did anyway. It shocked everyone...not really. It was bound to happen. Bowser Junior cheated!

Mario was about to win, almost slamming his adversary's arm on the floor. But Bowser Junior decided to help his father. He whipped out his trusty paintbrush and painted graffiti all over Mario. This made him lose his concentration and Bowser seized the opportunity.

_"Ha! I win!" _Bowser slugged Mario in the face triumphantly. This knocked him out instantly. Bowser's minions took care of the others.

_"BWAHAHA!" _he laughed. _"Now I can steal the princess...again."_

Mario was the first to regain consciousness. He looked around him. It was dark.

_"It can't be!"_

* * *

**Another Author's Note: I couldn't really incorporate the title into the chapter. That's the best I could do...**

* * *

Asterisks

(*)- _You can't talk to my friend that way!_

* * *

R. A. R. A. S.

Rate And Review And Stuff!


	8. A Voice From Above

**Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure**

_Chapter 8: A Voice from Above_

It was dark and if you put your hand in front of your face, it would be impossible to see it. Mario awoke. He tried to move, but failed. He heard the sound of metal hitting other metal.

"_BWAHAHA!"_ a familiar voice laughed.

Mario yelled at the strange voice. _"Where am I?"_

"_You tell me."_ The sarcastic voice replied. _**Click! **_The voice had turned on a light switch. One by one, rows of lights switched on, lighting the room. Only the last one didn't change.

"_Ugh, I need to replace that." _The strange voice added to his To Do list. Mario looked around to see he was chained to two poles.

"_I'm in an abandoned factory?"_

"_You catch on fast." _The voice taunted.

"_Who are you?" _The voice was standing in the shadow of the unlit light.

"_You'll figure it out." The stranger laughed evilly._

"_...Bowser?"_

"_Took you long enough." _Bowser emerged from the shadow.

"_I should have known. It was obvious."_

"_Shut up!" Bowser grunted. "Anyway, you're probably wondering how you can leave, right?"_

"_Not really. I was focused on where I was."_

"_Pretend you were thinking that." _Mario didn't respond. _"Anyway, you can't leave! BWAHAHA!" _Bowser laughed out loud.

Mario looked around and found nothing that he could use to escape with. He sighed.

"_Give up yet?" _Bowser taunted.

"_...Not even for a second." _smirked Mario.

"_You won't be saying that for long." _Bowser walked into the unlit section of the abandoned factory. He returned moments later with a remote control. It had one large red button.

"_What's that?" _asked Mario.

"_I'm glad you asked. See it-"_

"_Skip the speech. Tell me in less than an hour."_

Bowser frowned, but let the comment slide. _"It's going to make you do as I command. You see this button right? This slowly tightens the handcuffs on your arms and legs...until you either beg for mercy or your bones break." _Bowser laughed.

"_You can't do this to me!"_

"_Yes I can!"_

"_No you can't, fatty! Release me!"_

"_Shut up!" _Bowser grunted. _"I'll never release you!" _Bowser pressed on the remote control. The handcuffs clicked a notch tighter. Mario closed his eyes and clenched his teeth for the pain. It started from his wrists and ankles to his chest and to his brain.

"_Give up now?"_

Mario contemplated the idea for about two seconds. _"...bring it on." _Mario said with an evil grin.

"_If you say so." _Bowser pressed the button twice, one right after the other.

Mario reacted twice as hard as the last time. He clenched his teeth twice as hard. He closed his eyes twice has hard. He screamed in pain as Bowser laughed. Mario's hands and ankles started to become numb.

"_BWAHAHA! You're not going to give up are you?" _Mario was loosing circulation of blood flow in his whole arms and legs.

Bowser left the factory with the slam of the door. The unlit light remained unlit.

Mario first tried breaking the handcuffs using raw strength, but the lack of oxygen refrained the plan from succeeding.

He bent over to see what it looked like and Mario's hat came off. This enraged him, a lot! His wrists turned from blue to purple, the red coming from anger. He found the power to break the handcuffs on his wrists. Then Mario just blew a fire ball from his palm to finally release himself from the pole.

He fell to the ground, bracing himself with one hand. As his limbs regained feeling, he looked around him.

"_Where am I How did I get here?" _He asked himself. He ran towards the unlit part of the factory and felt for the door Bowser left through. He finally found the doorknob. **CLICK CLICK!**

"_Locked!"_

A mysterious voice spoke up. _"...I know where the key is."_

"_Who said that?"_

"_You don't need to know. All you need to know is how to escape."_

"_Well, how do I do that?"_

"_One word...light switch."_

"_OK. Thanks...I guess." _The voice didn't respond.

"_Now, where could the light switch be?" _Mario looked all around. The room was completely empty except for the poles he was chained to. He searched there, nothing.

Mario lied down to relax and that's when he noticed a small square panel with a flashing green light on the ceiling. Mario stood up and clapped. That's when the light finally turned on to reveal an on/off light switch in the corner of the previously unlit fraction of the room.

Mario sprinted to it and almost broke it by flicking it too hard. That's when the door opened and he escaped.

"_You're welcome." _said a voice from above.


	9. The Uncovering

**Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure**

Chapter 9: _The Uncovering_

Mario entered the room, running as fast as he could. He didn't observe his surroundings at all until he looked down at his shoes. He was steadily running towards a pool of lava the size of an Olympic swimming pool. Mario skidded to a halt, his toes dangling over the edge. He flapped his arms like a bird, attempting to maintain balance.

Bowser was standing at the other edge of the lava pit, laughing at Mario's struggle for his life.

"_BWAHAHA! You're pathetic. It's so cute to see you in fear."_ Bowser continued laughing.

Mario eventually regained his composure. _"So, is this our final battle?"_

_ "No, there is still a couple more chapters."_

_"Did you just break the 4__th__ wall?"_ Bowser pondered this for a moment.

_ "Ehh...I don't care."_

There was a brief moment of silence. As the silence lingered, Mario looked around him. This room was completely identical to the previous room, except for this room had a lava pit in the middle instead of the poles he was chained to. The door was collinear* with the lava pit.

As Mario daydreamed, he started to hear a whisper.

"_**Maaaarrrriiiioooo."**_

_ "What was that?" _Mario asked out loud.

_ "What?"_

_ "You didn't hear it?"_

_ "No..." _Bowser hesistated.

_ "Oh."_

_ **"Maaaarrrriiiioooo."**_ The voice repeated again.

"_There it is again! Where is that coming from?"_

_"I still don't hear anything."_

_ "How didn't you hear it? I heard it perfectly!"_

There was yet another moment of silence as Bowser paused to listen for alleged sounds his adversary keeps hearing.

"_Bah! I don't have time for this nonsense!" _Bowser snapped. _"I want to fight and fight now."_

Bowser clenched his claws, snorted through his nose, and gritted his teeth. He couldn't just stand there any longer. Bowser charged at Mario full throttle, which in retrospect, is about 5 miles an hour.

Due to the lack of velocity, Mario sidestepped Bowser with ease. Bowser was running as fast as he could. He didn't observe his surroundings at all until he looked down at his feet. He was steadily running towards the Olympic size lava pool Mario almost fell into earlier. He skidded to a halt, his overgrown toenails dangling over the edge. He flapped his arms, attempting to maintain balance.

Mario was standing at the end of the lava pit, laughing at Bowser's struggle for his life.

"_Ha!" _Mario chuckled to himself. _"What a case of iron-"_

_** "Look in the corner of the room..."** _The peculiar voice spoke with its soft, mellow voice.

To avoid confusing Bowser again, Mario assumed he could communicate with the spirit through his thought process.

He decided to put this theory to the test. _"Testing. Testing. One...two...three." _Mario slowly inhaled, and stretched out the exhale longer than the inhale.

"_Who are you and why did you choose me to talk to?"_

_ **"You will know the answer to your questions after a little...sacrifice."**_

_"What kind of sacrifice?" _Mario's curiosity almost caused him a concussion. As Mario was distracted talking to the spirit, Bowser had saved himself from the lava pit and- **WHAM!** Mario almost had his head knocked off from Bowser's charging forearm.

Mario lied on the ground, questioning his ability to get up. The pudgy plumber struggled to acquire the momentum to lift himself from the ground or "stand" as the kids call it these days.

He assumed a position similar to a push-up. As his upper body slowly rose, his arms started to shake like Luigi when he was locked inside the mansion. Mario clenched his teeth, tightened his fists, and summoned all available willpower.

_** "I need to get out. I need to now. But how?" **_He thought. Mario repeatedly flopped on the ground in order to stall for time. Knowing his archenemy, Bowser would die laughing with his arms crossed. Sure enough, this was right.

As Bowser didn't pay the least bit of attention, this gave Mario an impassable opprotunity to scope out for any weaknesses. All he saw were Bowser, the door he entered in, the lava pit, and other door-WAIT!

"_**That's it!" **_Mario thought to himself in delight. **_"The Door!" _**Mario couldn't waste any more time! He had enough energy built up to stand up, run to the door, and even some excess.

Mario made a mad dash for the door!

_"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" _Bowser said, still laughing. But the odd thing was: Bowser didn't chase after him.

When Mario tried to open the door, the floor opened up beneath him. He was gone within seconds.

_"...Sucker." _Bowser smirked.

When Mario finally finished falling, he hit the ground hard.

_**"Mario?"**_

_"Yeah?"_

_ **"I am the voice."**_

* * *

**Author's Note!**__

__This didn't really turn out how I had planned...Anyway, thanks for waiting. Sorry for the delay. Expect an update or two!

* * *

**Asterisks!**

*collinear- two points on the same line.


	10. True Identity

Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure

_Chapter 10 (Yay, Double Digits!): True Identity_

Our world famous Italian plumber from Brooklyn, New York was completely in the moment. Any memory of recent events have faded away like that 1-Up mushroom you so desperately need. Mario wiped the sweat off his forehead with his gloved hand. _"Slow down...and focus..."_

_ "All right. This 'Voice' has all the answers, so I need to be calm and collected." _He thought to himself.

_ "Voice, if I may call you that." _Mario began. _"Where are my friends?"_

_ "Somewhere I cannot control. Somewhere I cannot guide you. Somewhere I cannot enter and come back."_

Mario raised an eyebrow in the pitch black darkness of the pit he fell in. He felt the presence of the Voice nearby. Mario yawned and thought to himself.

_"OK. In order to get the information I want: I must decode who the Voice really is." _The red-clad plumber thought to himself.

_"Voice, whoever you are, you are planning to help me right?"_

_ "I'm talking to you now, aren't I?"_

_ "Got it. Do you know of an exit out of this dark pit?"_

_ "Actually, yes." _responded the Voice. _"I can't tell where it is, it's too dark in here."_

Mario decided to feel around the perimeter of the pit. His hands stumbled on a switch. Mario turned it on, which revealed a slowly dimming light. The "pit" was just a small room, not even a cage. Mario looked for the Voice, but he was alone. They has escaped into the next room through the newly discovered door, it was safe to assume.

Mario followed suit, the light blackening behind him.

_"A-Are you there?"_

_ "Nice work, you're one step closer to escaping. Now, the next switch is a bit nostalgic of earlier __in the adventure." _Mario thought to himself after hearing this...then it hit him. The hero clapped. "Got it!" Like the previous room, the lights barely lit. Mario noticed this room was triangular for some reason.

_"Strange architectural plans." _That was his only comment as he ran to the next room.

_"Nice memory." _the Voice complimented. _"For your final challenge, you have to find a Fire Flower in there 50 Hidden Blocks above you."_

Mario started to jump frantically around the room looking for the sound of an item appearing. What felt like hours go by, Mario had found nothing but empty blocks. Eventually, he heard that golden sound.

"Jackpot!" The room lit as Mario launched fireballs around the room. As the plumber's eyes adjusted once again, he could see the Voice standing right in front of him.

_"Wh-Why would you do it?"_

_ "Freedom is what I needed. This us how to get it."_

_ "Are you going to continue?" _Mario asked.

The recently-exposed Voice replied._"I got you this far, didn't I?" The "Voice" was none other than Bowser Junior, the King Koopa's flesh and blood._

_ "Dad doesn't let me do anything. He's so bossy and I had enough. So I sneaked to a room ahead of you each time, except the last. I never thought you would finish this room."_

Mario was still flabbergasted. _"Bu-But you hate me. Freedom is worth working with the enemy?"_

_ "Ugh, any day." _Bowser Jr. wasted no time with his answer. _"Next room?" _Mario smiled and ran inside.

The room was one of the greatest treasures worth hoping for. Better than walls and carpets of gold...well...almost. What was actually inside were Yoshi and Luigi, encased in a glass capsule with a blue liquid flowing. Mario attempted to break the glass with his fists, but it was no use. _"How do I get __them out?"_

_ "That's one of few things I don't know." _shrugged Bowser Junior.

Sealing each chamber closed was a gray lid. In the middle of the room was a control panel with hundreds of buttons. _"Which ones do we press?!" _Mario panicked.

_"How should I know?"_

_ "You'll inherit this someday. Geez, you don't know a lot of things, don't you?"_

_ "Watch it!" _Bowser Junior pushed Mario into the panel, pressing many different buttons at once. They all started to flash simultaneously.

_"That can't be good."_observed Mario.

_"What told you that, __genius__?" _the Koopa snapped back.

Someone's voice shouted from afar. _"I heard a noise!" _Mario and Bowser Junior were wide-eyed. The King of Koopas himself burst in the room through a separate room. _"What are you idiots doing?"_

_ "Uh..." _Mario paused. _"...Fighting?"_

_ "Well, don't break anything. Red 'Stache, I hope you get a concussion because I'm joining the fight!" _As that was said, the buttons stopped flashing and the blue liquid in the chambers started draining.

_"No, my containment pods!" _Bowser pushed Mario into Luigi's pod, breaking it. Luigi fell to the ground, limp.

"_HOW DARE YOU!"_

_ "Hey, you pushed me." _smiled Mario. Bowser threw him...right into Yoshi's pod.

_"Your aim kinda sucks, Dad."_

_ "Shut it and fight!"_

* * *

**Author's Note: I thought this Chapter was a little small, but still funny as ever.  
**


	11. The End of the Beginning!

Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure

_Chapter 10: The End...of the Beginning!_

* * *

_Before I unveil the Final Chapter, I would just like to personally thank anyone who reads this. It was a thrill to write!  
_

_Without further ado, the moment y'all have been waiting for!_

* * *

As sarcastic as Mario was, irritable as Bowser was, dazed as Yoshi was, unimportant as Hammer Bro was, unconscious as Luigi was, and as short as Bowser Junior was, the "Voice" was: things were heating up. Emotions were at fever pitch. They were ready to fight for the final time. The rivals were in the same pairings as the arm wresting competition: Mario versus Bowser, and the other two battles would occur if half the participants were awake.

Mario was fighting for Princess Peach, or clues leading to her. Bowser was fighting because there were intruders in the castle and didn't question how. The waiting was up and the patience diminished. Just Mario and Bowser's presence of the each other sparked a fire to fight. Unfortunately, violence was no way to settle this. That would be expected.

"Wait, wait." Mario interrupted their their series of glares. "We can't end it like this. We know each other's moves and strategies. There must be another way..." Mario looked around the room as he thought. He saw broken chambers, glass, and a control panel. He saw his best friend and brother knocked out. He saw his nemesis's son and minion not really contributing.

"Bingo?" Mario suggested after mild thought.

"Bingo! That's perfect! We don't have any pieces, though.."

Hammer bro finally spoke after staying silent the majority of the adventure. "How about we use broken glass?" Nobody questioned the potential safety consequences.

Within half an hour: two boards, chips, and caller balls were carved out of shards of glass.

Bowser Junior commented. "This is lame."

"Hey, Shut up!" snapped Mario. "This is a great idea!"

"Hammer Bro, you're Caller." Bowser commanded his minion.

"I'm overjoyed." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Don't backtalk to your master. You're the Bingo Caller and that's final."

"I hate my life." could be heard as Hammer Bro prepared to call the first space. "B11." Mario marked his board, while Bowser grumbled under his breath.

"Bingo!" called the plumber. Bowser flipped his board, the whole one chip sent fray.

"How is that even possible?!" complained the King of Koopas.

"I predicted what spaces were going to be called before you did."

"So...you cheated."

"No! I planned ahead and ended up with the victory."

"Whatever. I suppose you won, so I have to tell you where I locked the Princess. Well, she is in a secret door in the previous room.

Mario was astonished. "I could have-"

"Yep, avoided all of this. Moron. Only, that's where I was originally." By the time Bowser had finished talking, Mario had already carried his comrades and fled to rescue the Princess.

"The security is terrible here." remarked Hammer Bro.

"Even unconscious prisoners escape. That's pathetic." Bowser Junior bandwagoned.

"I have the funding for insane contraptions and multiple castles, but not to hire some security guards in the castles."

"You have Koopas, Goombas, Magikoopas, among others." argued Hammer Bro, being one of them.

"Yeah, but all of you are constantly being defeated, so I don't count you as security."

* * *

Mario arrived in the secret room where the love of his life he searched for awaited him. She was staring out a nearby window, not even locked in a cage. The room was desolate.

"Bowser must have used his budget on those chambers.." He thought to himself upon looking around the room.

"Oh, Mario! You're here to save me!"

"Yes, Princess. You're nightmare is over." Mario replied, blushing and out of breath from heaving his partners.

"I heard Bingo in the other room and was confused."

"That's what Bowser forced me to compete in to rescue you.."

Peach changed the subject. "Why are Luigi and Yoshi unconscious?" She had a worried look on her face.

"I don't really know, to be honest." Mario said before tying to wake them.

"Wh-what happened?" They both asked upon revival. Mario chose not to go into detail.

"...the point is, we have to get back to the Mushroom Kingdom and fast!" They quickly agreed and all ran out of the castle with nobody in hot pursuit.

* * *

To celebrate their reunion, Mario and Peach went on a picnic together. Mario was tracing over the _M Heart P_ carving with his gloved finger.

"Why are you still drawing that?! Have you learned nothing? Listen to me!" Peach said, obviously annoyed.

"I don't learn Life Lessons. I try again and hope it turns out better."

"Whatever." Peach turned away, crossing her arms.

"I still love you." Mario said, softly.

"What? You do?! I thought that 'P' was for 'Pauline'."

"No. Of course not." _"Not anymore." _he thought to himself.

Peach didn't hesitate to hug her hero. "I forgive you!"

They lived...for Peach: _Happily Ever After_, For Mario: _Indifferent Ever After,_ and for Bowser: _Pugnacious Ever After_.

* * *

_There_ _it was, folks: The Final Chapter of Mario's Weird and Confusing Adventure in all it's glory. This series had to come to an end eventually, and I picked Chapter 11._

_That doesn't mean there won't be a sequel. Maybe there will be a different main character. Maybe Mario remains the main character, but some other convoluted plot? I don't know...we'll see. I'd love to take suggestions.  
_


End file.
